Stargate: Atlantis McShep Adult
Lorne takes one look at them, filthy and shaking, after he pulls them out of the line of fire and into the puddlejumper. "I'm driving. You two just get in back and...be there."
John nods and gestures to Rodney, who doesn't appear to notice anything. He stands where Lorne left him, clearly still seeing at the horror they'd just left behind - what was left of the men they'd left behind. All they can take back is their blood on their clothing. Rodney stands. "I'll take care of him."
Lorne doesn't even blink. He plays with the controls and they're away. John has to pull Rodney by the hand to get him to move, get him behind the bulkhead to collapse together.
The lights are out there, and John doesn't care. Rodney is curled up next to him, silent and trembling, so close he doesn't need to see him, and he sees what Rodney sees - the knives and blood and the sounds of young men screaming and knowing they were next. And then Rodney leans into him, seeking something - warmth, humanity, comfort, and John doesn't know if he has any to give.
But this is Rodney and John knew a long time ago that he'd give what he could to him, for him. John wraps his arms around him, and Rodney, who burns more energy sitting than John does running, is cold. 'Shock,' he thinks. 'Reaction,' he thinks. And he holds Rodney as close as he can, and when his own body responds he knows that, too, is shock and reaction and Rodney.
So when Rodney's lips - soft, cool, needy - press against his own, he blinks and kisses back. And when Rodney's hand creeps into his pants - he's done this before. Traded handjobs in the dark after surviving - needing to affirm that they had survived. Rodney's acting on instinct here - John is sure of it, is sure that Rodney is still watching his men die - but instinct is good. Instinct doesn't matter. He wishes it did, but this way they'll be friends.
And he unfastens Rodney's fly and slips his hand inside. Here is warmth, then - hot and heavy and filling his hand the way - and then Rodney's hand moved. And his mouth is hungry and John wants to hear something because Rodney quiet...he doesn't know. He just strokes with the skill of a hundred furtive nights and imagines Rodney clean and naked and kneeling over him - the fantasy he's held close - and then they're done and Rodney's still shaking, but it's different now, and he whispers John's name as he curls into him to sleep.
John keeps watch over him in the dark, as Lorne flies them home.