Titans and Brothers
"Go away, Alfred!"
"I'm not Alfred." Roy stood in the doorway holding the plastic grocery bag and the newspaper. Dick was on top of his bed - a grown-up queen sized bed instead of the twin bed he remembered from all those years ago. He had his leg, encased in a sort of brace, propped up on a couple of pillows and there was a pair of crutches leaning on the wall.
"Go away, Roy. I don't want to talk about business."
Roy grinned and sat on the bed next to him, stretching his still-shod legs in front of him and dumping his things between them. "Who says I'm here on business? I happen to be the bearer of a message from a young lady."
"Get off my bed." There was no force behind those words, so Roy ignored them.
Instead, he reached into the bag and took out a small black bear. "Don't you remember this?" He handed the toy to Dick, whose eyes widened.
"I gave this to Lian when she had the flu last year, didn't I?"
"Yep. It's a loaner. Lian thought that as Mr. Night helped her feel better when she was sick, he might help Uncle Dick, too, since he's sick. But she wants it back when you're better because he's hers forever. Uncle Dick told her so." Roy imitated Lian's empathetic nod at the end of the final statement.
Dick actually smiled for a moment as he contemplated the bear. "I did, didn't I? Thank the young lady for me." He tucked into the crook of his elbow. "You're here for some other reason, aren't you? Alfred called you."
Roy rolled his eyes. "Alfie nearly chucked me out of the house when I showed up. 'Master Richard is not receiving visitors, Mr. Harper.' But I charmed him. No one can resist the Harper charm."
Dick raised an eyebrow. "Roy. I know you better than anyone. Why are you here?"
"This." He picked up the newspaper - a Bludhaven daily. "If I read this article right, Nightwing was involved in killing someone. And I'm not the brightest bulb in the basket, so maybe I read it wrong, but I don't think so. And since I *know* you wouldn't kill anyone and, if you did lose your mind and do that, you sure as hell wouldn't use a gun. Do you even know *how* to use a gun?"
"Damn! Bruce has probably seen that. I have to…" He began to struggle off the bed, but Roy held him down by the shoulders. "I have to explain…"
"Explain to me first. Bruce is off playing billionaire anyway." He held on until Dick started to relax, but he stayed close. "I'm the biggest screw-up to ever be a Titan - I'll understand."
"Not anymore, you're not." He moved away slightly. "I. I fouled up big time. Blockbuster - he was evil. He was ruling Bludhaven by breaking necks." Roy listened as Dick told him about this huge man, and his mother, and about a new cape who used a gun. "And I just stood there, Roy. She held a gun on him and I just stood there. I knew I wanted him dead, but that's not what we do, you know? Even for lowlives. I didn't stop her. She killed him, and I let her. And then I went a little nuts. Maybe a lot nuts. All I could think about was Bruce and how he'd hate me." He squeezed the bear. Roy took it out of his hands and put his own hand in its place. "Because I failed. Bruce doesn't tolerate failure. And then. Then she got me out on the roof and then…I don't know. I wasn't there."
He began to breathe hard and to crush Roy's hand. "Easy, Wingster. I'm not going anywhere."
"She had me on my back, and. I wasn't there, but my body was. I sort of remember coming, with her on top - we even still had our costumes on. She…rode me." All emotion had dropped out of Dick's voice.
"She raped you?"
Dick shrugged. "I don't know. It didn't hurt, and I came, but I didn't want it. Anyway, she's running one of the gangs here in Gotham, after that mess Spoiler started. Poor Stephanie." He bit his lip.
Roy stared at him. "She's here? What the hell was that…father of yours thinking?"
"She followed me. She. We had to run, you know? And I had nowhere to go anyway, and she. Took care of me, I guess. Until Bruce called for me. I don't think she realizes...Bruce doesn't know. He's probably guessed about Blockbuster, but not Catalina. I can't tell him. You know I can't tell him. It would be another failure - how could I allow her to use me? And he's right!" He let go of Roy's hand.
Roy took it back. For good measure, he grabbed the other one. "What the hell does he know about it? That bitch violated you - you said so yourself. You weren't there - you were so wrapped up in what Batman would say about what *she* did that you didn't know. Bitch raped you twice, and your damned mentor didn't help." His damned mentor made the whole thing possible. Ollie may have been rotten at the job, but at least he didn't play games with Roy's head.
"It's my fault. I have to be in control of any situation. That's what I was trained to do." He looked at Roy, his eyes huge and scared. "And if I can't be, I might as well hang up my uniform."
He wanted to tell Dick he was an idiot, and that Batman was worse, and that you can't be perfect all the time. He wanted to tell him all of that, and pound it into his head and make him see that mistakes happen. He wanted to do that.
But Dick wouldn't hear anything but Batman's voice. So he pulled Dick into his arms - and Dick didn't resist. And then Dick's arms rose up and wrapped Roy tightly. And Dick kissed him, the way he had when they were both Titans and boys and hating their mentors and this was the best way to show them, show Ollie and Batman, that.
Roy pulled away. "You want this? Because I'm here for you if you want this - you know me, man. Always ready for one of us. But if you don't, we can stop right now, or we can go as far as you want. And we gotta think about your leg, too." Because the only way Roy could see it working would be if...if he did to Dick what she did to Dick. Except consensually and, he hoped, naked. If he could get Dick undressed with that thing on his leg.
"Stop thinking, Roy." Dick laughed. It sounded wonderful. "It doesn't work for you. Let me figure this out, okay?"
"You're the boss, Wingster."
"Yeah. And I want you to take me right now." And he latched onto Roy's mouth again.
Sometime later, Dick, naked and braceless, lay on a pile of pillows, his good leg wrapped around Roy's waist, panting and moaning with need. Roy plunged into him, still not sure this would actually help anything, or even make a difference. But, if for this moment, Dick could lose himself in something good - well, Roy wasn't going to complain. He winked at Mr. Night, sitting on Dick's bed table, and made Dick scream in the best possible way.